The Story in My Head

I am packing up my son's bedroom.  And no, he is not here to help me do so.  This is not the way the story in my head went for the past 18 years.  The story in my head was always that we would pack up his belongings together, laugh out loud at the tiny discoveries we would uncover as we opened drawers and found childhood treasures long forgotten, reminisce and romanticize events during his growing up years that seemed so serious then and only now could be seen as minute, laughable pebbles on the trail of his life, and then take him shopping for dorm necessities, then a road trip to a 4 year university, drop him off, cry as we were leaving him, cry all the way home and then change his room to an art studio or some other underused place in the house.  That was the story in my head.  That is not HIS story.  I don't know if it ever was.

I have learned more in the past 4 months than I have learned in the past 10 years combined.  I have learned more about healthy detachment to ALL the stories in my head, and what separates reality from distorted thinking.  I have learned (relearned?) what true compassion, tolerance and acceptance is.  I have learned (relearned?) how strong we can be when we are faced with no other choice but to be.  I have learned (relearned?) that no matter how hard something is to face, that you will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. And I have learned more about TRUE love, REAL gratitude and TOTAL appreciation than I can express in words on this page. 

Most of all, I have learned how to deeply, unconditionally, from the depths of my being, embrace change, reset priorities, be spontaneous and release all expected outcomes.  We are given one life to live... and like video games where your actions and choices affect how the game progresses and results, the outcomes are endless.  Isn't that what makes them so fun to play?

The journey of our life is a theater and we improv our way through it. My child is teaching me this daily.  And I love him for the gifts that he is bringing to me and for his wisdom he is bringing to the world. 

My son has been an inspiration to me, and his strength and fortitude has strengthened my family.  Yes, I am packing up his bedroom today, and he is embarking on the rest of his story.  I can't wait to see how it unfolds, and I will be right there in the front row, eagerly anticipating the next chapter....

And Noah.....
May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.